Social networks are an integral part of our daily lives, but what are their effects on our love lives? Are they an asset or an obstacle to finding love, keeping it or leaving it? Here are some answers, based on studies and testimonies.
Couple: how social networks influence our love life
The use of social networks within a couple can indeed prove to be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they allow better communication and rapprochement, but on the other, they can also be a source of tension and jealousy.
Advantages of social networks for the couple:
Social networks allow you to know your partner better
First of all, social networks allow you to know your partner better. By sharing posts, photos, and moments from their daily lives, couples can learn more about each other’s interests, habits, and personalities. This can enhance intimacy and mutual understanding.
Social networks help to quickly detect betrayal
Additionally, social media can help quickly detect potential betrayal. Indeed, if one of the partners behaves suspiciously online, such as suspicious exchanges with another person, this can raise awareness and encourage further investigation into the situation. Reasoned vigilance can therefore be beneficial for the health of the couple.
Social networks help to relieve tensions in the couple
Another significant advantage of social networks is that they allow you to decompress tensions in the couple. When disagreements or conflicts arise, taking some time to post, comment or simply browse the networks can help to clear your mind and put things into perspective. This offers a welcome break and can facilitate a return to calm.
In addition, social networks offer the possibility of staying connected and maintaining social bonds even when partners are physically distant. This can be comforting and ease tensions that might arise from a temporary separation.
Social networks make dating easier
Social networks make dating easier because they allow us to connect with people who share our interests, our values, our opinions, etc. They also offer the possibility of getting an idea of the profile of the other, by consulting their photos, their publications, their comments, etc. They can thus serve as a springboard to start a conversation, exchange messages, arrange to meet, etc.
👉 According to an Ifop survey carried out in 2020, 16% of French people have already met a romantic partner thanks to social networks, an increase of 7 points compared to 2010.
👉 Among them, 9% have formed a lasting relationship, an increase of 4 points. These figures show that social networks have become an increasingly frequent and effective way to find love.
Social networks strengthen connections
Social networks strengthen bonds, because they allow you to stay in touch with your partner, even from a distance. They also offer the possibility of sharing moments of complicity, support, recognition, etc. They can thus serve as a channel of communication, expression, attention, etc.
According to a study from the University of Kansas in the United States, published in 2019, couples who use social media in a positive and moderate way are happier and more satisfied with their relationship than those who use it in a negative and excessive way. . The researchers identified
4 types of use of social networks that promote marital happiness:
- Sharing: this involves publishing photos, videos, statuses, etc., which show your love, admiration, pride, etc., for your partner.
- Support: this involves liking, commenting, sharing, etc., your partner’s publications, to show your partner your interest, your encouragement, your solidarity, etc.
- Interaction: it involves dialoguing, joking, flirting, etc., with your partner, to maintain the bond, complicity, seduction, etc.
- Information: it involves finding out, informing oneself, documenting oneself, etc., about the tastes, passions, projects, etc., of one’s partner, to know them better, understand them, surprise, etc.
Disadvantages of social networks for the couple:
While social networks can bring certain benefits, they also carry significant risks for the couple’s relationship.
Social networks leave indelible traces
“What happens on social networks does not stay on social networks. Digital traces can come back to haunt us and weaken trust in a couple.”
Cybersecurity expert
A major disadvantage is that social networks leave indelible traces of our exchanges and interactions. If one partner communicates inappropriately with a loved one, or makes negative comments about their spouse, these traces can come back to haunt them and undermine trust within the couple.
Even if these messages are quickly deleted, they can still be retrieved and resurface, creating embarrassing or conflicting situations. This loss of control over information shared online can undermine the couple’s peace of mind and serenity.
“Instagrammable” outings or making unnecessary expenses
“Too many couples let themselves be trapped by the race for the perfect image on the networks. They forget to cultivate the essentials: complicity, communication and intimacy.”
Marriage counselor
Social media can also negatively influence a couple’s lifestyle, particularly when it comes to going out and shopping. Indeed, peer pressure and the desire to display an ideal image on networks can push couples to increase the number of “Instagrammable” outings or to make unnecessary expenses to obtain goods and experiences to share online.
This race for appearance and performance on the networks can distract couples from what really matters, namely spending quality time together and building a fulfilling relationship.
Partners risk finding themselves with an overloaded schedule and an unbalanced wallet, to the detriment of their well-being and their bond.
Social media creates tension
Social networks create tension because they can be a source of jealousy, conflict, breakups, etc. They also offer the possibility of monitoring, controlling, manipulating, etc., one’s partner. They can thus serve as a pretext, motive, means, etc., for arguing, making mistakes, leaving each other, etc.
👉 According to a study by the University of Missouri in the United States, published in 2013, couples who use social networks excessively are more likely to experience relationship problems than those who use them moderately. The researchers identified
3 types of behavior that harm marital happiness:
- Stalking: this involves tracking, spying, searching, etc., the profile of your partner, to check their activities, contacts, messages, etc.
- Comparison: it involves comparing, judging, criticizing, etc., one’s relationship with those of others, based on appearances, clichés, illusions, etc.
- Cyberflirt: it involves flirting, seducing, deceiving, etc., one’s partner, using social networks as a playground for temptation, infidelity, etc.
Abandoning couple duties
When partners spend too much time browsing, posting and commenting, it can come at the expense of quality one-on-one time. Couples tend to be less present for each other and neglect couple duties, such as in-depth communication, joint activities and gestures of affection. This digital distraction can gradually weaken intimacy and complicity.
Harm the couple’s private life
Sharing too much online can also harm a couple’s privacy. Certain gestures, words or moments should remain in the intimate sphere and not be exposed on social networks. This lack of modesty can cause a feeling of discomfort and violation of privacy.
Here are some solutions for healthy and beneficial use of social networks within a couple:
Solutions for healthy use of social networks as a couple
“Social media is like a double-edged sword in a relationship. It can bring partners closer together, but also create distance and distrust if not used wisely.”
Psychologist specializing in couple relationships
Faced with the advantages and disadvantages that social networks can represent for a couple, it is important to put certain rules and practices in place in order to get the most out of them.
First of all, it is essential to establish clear limits together regarding the use of social networks. This can involve setting “screen-free” times of the day or week dedicated solely to the couple’s relationship, or even through an agreement on the sharing of personal information online.
Then, cultivating communication and trust within the couple is essential. Partners must be able to openly discuss their uses of social networks, their fears and their needs. This will help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts.
Additionally, it’s important not to get overwhelmed by comparing yourself to other couples online and to keep a healthy perspective. Social networks only reflect a partial and often idealized image of relationships.
Finally, taking advantage of the positive aspects of social networks while being vigilant about the risks can prove beneficial. Using these tools to share life moments, organize activities or stay in touch can strengthen the bond, provided you do not neglect face-to-face intimacy and complicity.
👉 By adopting these good practices, couples can make the most of social networks without suffering the harmful effects.
FAQ: The impact of social networks on couples
Can apps like Instagram and WhatsApp destroy couples?
Yes, excessive or problematic use of these applications can indeed have a negative impact on the relationship. They can promote jealousy, insecurity and loss of intimacy if partners cannot use them moderately and thoughtfully.
How much time should a couple spend on social media?
There is no absolute rule, it depends on the couple. However, it is recommended to set reasonable limits together, such as “screen-free” times of the day dedicated solely to the relationship. The main thing is to find a balance between digital and real life.
What types of things should you not share online when you’re in a relationship?
Certain things should remain in the intimate sphere of the couple, such as intimate discussions, arguments or moments of strong intimacy. You should also avoid criticizing or complaining about your partner in public on social networks. This can be hurtful and damage trust.
Conclusion:
Social networks are therefore a double-edged tool, which can have positive or negative effects on our love life. They can be a way to meet, communicate, share, etc., with your partner, but also a reason to argue, make mistakes, leave each other, etc. It is therefore important to use them with caution, with respect, in moderation.
It is also essential not to forget that social networks are not reality, but a representation, sometimes distorted, embellished, truncated, etc. We must therefore maintain perspective, discernment, critical thinking, etc. Above all, we must favor quality over quantity, and not let social networks take precedence over the real relationship.
