Be loved and valued [healthy relationships # toxic]

Relationship: to be loved and valued

one man and two paths: choose a toxic relationship or a healthy and favoring relationship. Be loved and valued
“Do not let the thirst for love lead you to drink from poisonous sources, nor do the hunger for affection lead you to feed on the remains of worthless relationships.”
joker.fr85

Analysis of the quote

These phrases use strong metaphors:

  • The thirst for love” represents our natural need to be loved, desired and valued.
  • Drinking from poisonous sources” symbolizes turning to toxic relationships that seem refreshing or attractive at first, but end up hurting us.
  • Hunger for affection” refers to the need to receive attention, affection or recognition.
  • Feeding on the remains of worthless relationships” points to accepting crumbs of attention, remaining in situations of “emotional dependence” or maintaining relationships that do not bring us anything good.

Central message: The quest for love and affection can make us vulnerable and lead us to accept less than we deserve. But it is essential to learn to recognize your own worth to avoid falling into this trap.


Why do we accept (drink from poisonous sources) toxic relationships?

Sometimes we accept toxic orunsatisfactory relationships, and there are several reasons for this:

  • Fear of loneliness: We prefer to be poorly accompanied than alone, so we tolerate unacceptable behaviors.
  • Lack of self-esteem: If you don’t feel “good enough”, you think you don’t deserve better.
  • Illusions of hope: We believe that one can “change” the other or that he or she will “eventually understand”.
  • Emotional dependency: We feel unable to live without the presence of the other, even if that person makes us suffer.

How do you recognize “poisonous sources”?

There are warning signs that need to be learned to spot to avoid toxic relationships:

  • Manipulation and control: The other person tries to control you, isolate you or make you feel guilty.
  • Lack of reciprocity: You give a lot but receive little in return.
  • Not respecting boundaries: The other person does not respect your needs, values or desires.
  • Emotional instability: Love should not be a roller coaster where you go from happiness to unhappiness.

And that is often the trap of poisonous sources: you don’t see them immediately because the water seems clear. But once you start to feel bad, tired, drained, that’s when you have to ask yourself questions.

Example of a toxic relationship “poisoned source”

I’ll give you a concrete example, because I know that sometimes you don’t realize you’re drinking from a poisoned source until it’s too late.

I have a friend who was in a relationship where, at first, everything seemed perfect. The guy was super attentive, he sent messages every morning, he called her ‘my queen’, he told her she was unique… In short, the fairy tale.

He criticized his friends, told her to go out less, made her feel guilty whenever she did not respond quickly enough to his messages.

At that time she was still thinking, ‘It’s just because he loves me too much.’ But in reality, she was drinking from a poisonous source. Because love, the true one, does not control you. Love, the true one, leaves you free and accepts you as you are.

She realized it after months of stress, anxiety and doubts about herself. She kept asking, ‘Is it my fault? Am I doing enough for him?’ That’s the sign you’re drinking poison.

Eventually, she made the decision to leave. It wasn’t easy, but I swear today she’s always saying to me: ‘I don’t even know why I stayed so long.’


Why should we not “eat the leftovers” of relationships?

👉 “Feeding on leftovers” symbolizes the acceptance of little, while one deserves more. This is often manifested by:

  • Half-relationships”: Ambiguous situations (relations without commitment, “situationships”, etc.) where one expects something serious while the other does not want the same thing.
  • Accept the feedback of ex: The ex returns, we accept for nostalgia or fear of not finding better.
  • The crumbs of attention: Accept messages or “I love you” only when the other has time or when it suits him.

Message to remember: Love and affection are not a matter of begging. You deserve full love, not scattered pieces.


How can we avoid falling into this trap?

There is room for self-protection and self-enhancement. Here are some of the ways:

  • Learn to be good with yourself: If you are comfortable with loneliness, you will no longer feel the need to “drink anything” or “eat the leftovers”.
  • Improve self-esteem: Recognize your worth. You don’t have to beg for someone’s love or attention.
  • Set clear boundaries: If you feel someone is disrespecting you, leave. There’s nothing more powerful than knowing how to say “no”.
  • Surround yourself with good people: Sometimes love and affection can come from our friends, family or passions.

A message of hope

We are sometimes tempted to settle for “crumbs”, to drink from poisonous sources because we think that we will have nothing else. But love, the true love, is not found in suffering or in compromises on our dignity. The day you understand that you deserve better, you will no longer tolerate toxic relationships.

Message to hammer: “You don’t deserve the crumbs, you don’t deserve to drink poison. You deserve a love that elevates, respects and makes you grow.”

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